allaboutakhil

EK Dynamic see Kahani -2

2011-06-02T10:19:00.001-07:00

Well today after reading what i had written yesterday, was thinking that it will be too much boring to describe and fix the character beforehand. Doesn’t sound exciting to me. Lets do it this way. Take the story in first person mode Dhwani and fix the character as the story proceeds......

And by the way a person character keeps on changing according to the situation. A fat man can out beat the fastest runner provided he has a dog behind him/her.

So here goes the story..........

The world seems to fade around her. It seems like that there is no moment which had gone before and neither does it seems that any moment is waiting to reveal itself to her. It seems like the time is frozen and she is not able to say is she alive, conscious or dead.

Well current situation however doesn’t differ much from her previous life, just waiting and watching as life against her is passing by moment by moment without any thing or something in control.

But this time it was totally different. This time she was not able to say that she was aware where she was or how she had reached in that state.

Everything seems to irrelevant to her and at the same time she has to find herself quick to fix herself a spot in the current situation to be able to say that she is alive and conscious.

A moment then suddenly passed by, looks like to her that it passed in a years time. Everyone was staring at her as to for them she was like the puzzle scrambled infront of them and they have to fix them. Suddenly a guy infront of her tried to exploit the opportunity of helping the lady infront of him but the fierce look in her eyes holds him to do it.

She was puzzled as to what stopped the guy but at the same time she tried to put both her legs in order and direct them to start moving. Start moving in which direction she was not sure. Right now its not the direction which was important, its the movement which was counting against time. She needs to get out of that place very quickly and then find some time to regain her senses.

Thank goodness,her both legs did not get confused about the directions and started moving towards a single direction.She had seen for people who are mentally challenged have to fight a fierce battle in just doing a simple movement of their legs in one direction. She saw that she was moving towards the gate which was opening automatically when a person reaches a certain distance to it.

This gave huge relief to her as to right now she don’t have the courage or energy to open the gate also.

The windy breeze of early monsoon almost swept her from her feet. Now she has got a bigger problem as to find out where to go as she was standing in a courtyard of a shopping mall overlooked by 4 floors from all the sides. She felt like trapped damsel. Though she considered herself as an average looking girl but at this time she can treat herself of considering herself as a damsel in distress.

At the same time, some kilometres away from the place, was a closed airconditioned room with no windows.

“ 50 years back US dropped nukes on Japan almost wiping out the entire city. Japan after second world war was on devastated but what happened after 50 years, they got their position back for which they were fighting earlier. Now japan stands at one of the strongest economies of the world.

What exists the difference between me and you gentlemen. The six people felt puzzled as the nature and ferocity of the statement and question thrown at them. They were not used to getting questioned and this somewhat ruffles them.

We all have the same physical organs with two hands, two eyes etc etc. The powerful voice again filled the entire room.You may say the face, his height , weight . But think about a situation in which you have a clone raised in a laboratory. Then how will you differentiates yourself with him. Its only and only his/her mind which got the answer. Your clone under simulated conditions also will behave differently than you as he is not conditioned or have the same developed and complex evolved mind as compared to you.

So gentleman its only and only your mind which holds the answer and the questions also.

EK Dynamic see Kahani

2011-06-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it gives me such strong feelings and emotions to write but always overcome by the fear as to what to write.

Anyways chalo ek kahani shuru karte hai, kya kahani hai , kya moral hai, kya reason hai kya character hai , kuch bhi decided nahin hai .....sub kuch dynamic hai is kahani mein....na character fix hai, na un character ka koi character fix hai.....kuch bhi pakka nahin hai .....pakka hai to bus itna kee likha hai...kahani aage barhani hai....aur iska ek end hoga....ab end kya hoga mujhe bhi nahin maloom...lets see....kood ja lanka mein beta raam bhali karenge...........

SO lets build the first character.....should start with a female one.. ......adds interest to the starting.......

So there was this female character named Dhwani....(the story of dhwani will tell you later onwards..quite interesting one). She was like a normal medium class girl with every thing of medium rating ...face, intellect, figure etc etc.....She studied in a medium class school and then college in a medium level town.

She never had excelled in anywhere in her life. And also its just in her school she always used to get medium average marks.

So this is the story of one of our character of the dynamic story who was just taking characterisation with medium tag in anything and everything of her and by her and for her.

Oh yes lets name the city also....how about mediumpur....sounds matching with the character also.

So this is the story about some people who never remained some people for their people.

So one day dhwani wake up to find her phone just dismantled ..........

Lets do after this tomorrow.......

where are we heading

2011-05-31T10:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i feels like to write, but the questions which always pops up in my mind, is what to write and on what topic to write. Why to write,when will be the right time to write etc and etc.

But i think today someone told me to be myself and to be someone who is original which resulted in once again deep diving into myself as to what I am today and what i want to be tomorrow.

Honestly clearly no idea and answers came to me. Then got the idea of atleast to write something, some thing at least. Doesn’t matter what it should be and the only thing that matters is that it should be.

So here i am, writing what i didn’t knew just going with the flow of my emotions, perception as to what to project myself in the words which i am writing. But honestly that attitude who cares kicks in again. And hence i don’t care what i am writing, its just i want to write something.

Today i shouted at my better half for throwing the mobile which i have gifted her. Now realised that the person was important and not the phone which should be important. But what has happened is otherwise, for me ( don’t know about others) the object become more important than the person associated with it. Man seriously digital corruption of our all desires had gone to such levels , didn’t realised that much. Anyways its good feeling that i had realised my mistake and damage repairs doesn’t cost much but seriously feels like if things and life like this continued then where are we heading and to what destination. This was definitely not my destination for which i started walking. Looks like forgotten my path while travelling or mis guided may be perhaps.

Looks like what is clear to me is to spend what i can afford. I cant afford to see movies regularly, cant afford to desire for endless digital game, cant afford to spend my time with digital life, digital friends, and starts feeling good about it.

This is definitely not me and if this is me , then i definitely want to reassess my personae.

Will keep hanging on around now...at least will try to do that.

कम्भाकत यह दिल आज फिर चिल्लाने लगा है .

2010-05-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

क्या कहू की आज दिल लिखने को कुछ कर रहा है.
क्यों कहू की दिल कुछ लिखने को क्यों कर रहा है.
गर भी में कहू तो क्या ज़रूरी है की तुम इसे सुनो
लेकिन क्या इस दिल की हमने कभी सूनी है जो इसके कहने पर लिखू.

पता नहीं ऊपर क्या लिखा है, क्यों लिखा है किसे सुनाने को लिखा है, किसे बताने को लिखा है, किसे दिखाने को लिखा है। पता नहीं क्यों आज इस दिल ने इस दिल से कहाँ, की कहाँ कहाँ भटकता रहता है कभी तो फुर्सत हो एक पल की....

कहाँ आ गया हु इस पत्थर के जंगल में, कहाँ खो गया हु, कुछ खबर नहीं, कुछ होश नहीं,
अब तो सब पर भरोसा रहा लेकिन इंसान, इंसानों से भरोसा सा उठ चला है,
अब तो जेब में पढ़ा मोबाइल भरोसा है, लेकिन उससे जब बात करता हु तो जिससे बात करता हु उस पर भरोसा नहीं है।
यह हम कहाँ के लिए चले थे और कहाँ जा रहे है, चलते वक्हत घरवालो ने, मोहल्ले वालो ने दुआए दे थी, अब वोही दुआए जब रंग लाई तो हम्हारे पास उनके लिए ही वक़्त नहीं बचा। यह हम क्यों भाग रहे है इतना, किसके लिए, अपनों के लिए, खैर जाने दो क्या फरक पढ़ता है, किसे कौन ढूँढता है सिवाय इस दिल के,
मगर इस किस्मत का खेल ही खाहियेह की अब तो यह दिल की आवाज़ भी सुनायी देनी बंद हो गयी है। अचा है कम से कम अब मुस्किल तो नहीं होगी इस पत्थर के सेहर में रहने में। और जब यह दिल की आवाज़ बेकाबू होप जायगी तो यहाँ लिख लिया करूँगा। कौन देखने आता है यहाँ।

चलता हु , उम्मीद करता हु की शायद अब भी हाफ़िज़ हो खुदा हमारा ।

One of my best clicks so far..Sandhan Valley Trek

2010-01-11T06:08:00.000-08:00

This is one of my so far the best I clicked. This was taken on my trekking trip to Sandhan Valley where I was just a virgin to trekking and there were group of 18 people including my mama who helped me in loosing my virginity. And I guess I am going to remember my suhagraat with mountains forever. Anyways lets not talk about my trekking trip because that’s not what I am about to write. I want to write about this rare photo atleast to me.
Well while looking at the photo creates so many illusion and thoughts in our mind. First reaction is what I got that the working conditions are too tough atleast for me. Sitting in the direct sun and just sieving sand from the stones almost all day is not easy as opposed to sitting in AC and working on PC/ Laptops and cribbing about the work all time.
I think that’s the first reaction which we will get whenever we see someone or meet someone we started comparing our life with the person whom we had met. And see who is at advantage. I sometimes do that and I am not ashamed of telling it because being born in a middle class family we have been conditioned to do that and take out the and be inspired to do better all the time. Never look back, be something, be an example so that others should follow you etc etc.
I think while I was clicking that photo why I clicked it, reasons cannot be explained just felt like to click it. And now I feel this man’s expression is just what you need to understand something about life.
The expression of the man is what appeals to me the most. The controlled facial expression mixed with a sense of indifference plus controlled smiling as to pose for a photo you have to do. No expression of comparison which we generally do as a habit, a sense of indifference mixed with a sense of self esteem is what I feel I can deduce from this photo.
In short this man existed to us and we could feel lucky to be born in a better condition which we think superfluously that we are atleast lucky than this poor guy. But if you look at him you don’t exists at all to him. It doesn’t matters to him form where you came and who you are. He just is not bothered with it at all. I have shot him at very close range which could offend anybody that you are taking his photo or may feel happy that this guy is taking my photo so starts posing and cheering up. But to him it doesn’t matter and the moment we turn our back he is back to work.
Though the communication in scientific language doesn’t happened between him and me but I guess he remained at the giving side and I as a poor fellow cant do nothing but to take it from him one of the biggest lessons in my life. And that lesson couldn’t be written down no matter how skilled you are in writing. It has to be felt from inside that the life is very simple why you idiots are complicating it more and more.
Anyways after writing I am still an idiot and lets see how much I have learnt from him without a single word of communication happening.
That only time will tell ..or why do you think time will tell, time has all the work in the whole world to do so don’t be bothered lets get back tour AC office and cushioned life.
i dont know what to say i am still in a process of exploring this pic.......anyways will not bor you more.....bye bye

mere faltu one liner..jinka matlab mujhe bhi nahin pata....can you help me out

2009-12-11T13:03:00.000-08:00

1. gareebe ghalib kee muflisi kya kahiye....kee waqt har insaan kee rooh mein shumaar hai

2.whatever happened happened. couldnt have had happened the other way round and cannot be unhappened so let it be happened whatever happened had happened.

3. "i was lost then i went looking and then i got lost again....and when i was lost , believe me i was totally and absolutely hottt"

4. hasrat-e-husn kee aarzoo liyeh ghumta raha bazar mein
ek zindagee mili thee woh bhi na jaane kahan gum ho gayee......

5. gaflat-e-khwaish hai itni kee zindagi kahan gum hai......mein mar bhi jaaun inko paane mein,phir bhi baigirat zinda rehti hai..

6. Insaan ko apne peene kee, khane kee, rehne kee, zinda rehne kee aukaat nahin bhoolna chahiyeh.
Agar jyada peeyega to ulti karta firega,
Agar jyada khayega to pet pakarh kar ghoomtarahega,
Agar upar urehga karke rahega to kharcho ko rota rahega,
Agar zinda aur khush rehne ke liyeh jitna zaroori hai usse jyada lega to use kamzori bana lega....

७। जिंदा रहने के लियेह क्या करू की बिलकुल जिंदा लगु
इंसान तो हुआ करता था, लेकिन अब बिलकुल इंसान लगु
जब सोयु तो सोते हुए बिलकुल नाशुक्रा लगु
आईना जब भी देखू तो बिलकुल बेफिक्रा लगु

8) kyon hosh sambhalu maalik, nashe mein to sab nazar aate hai

9)faasle kuch is tarah se kum hote rahe humhare darmiyaan kee....... aatee jaatee bus saans sunaaiyee dene lagee....

10) The Profiles are lovely, bright and show-off,

But I still have friends to add and keep,

And miles to go before I log off,

And miles to go before I log off

-----------------------Robert Frost Facebook.................

11)just realised few days back...my career doesnt have graph....

it only have bounces........

12)when there is a wills...there is a way......

and where there is a way ...there is always a chai kee dukaan...
Go for it.....

13)Three Greatest Kings of all time....

Smo-King
Drin-King
Fuc-King
....
what you were thinking before.....

14)beauty is in the eyes of beholder and when you kiss you close your eyes...so it doesnt really matter whom you are kissing.....just keep kissing

15)why a men wearing a watch is never called a watchmen.............
and your watchmen never wears a watch....................

16)A humble request to Dear 2011,

You better be a good as***** year. 2010 really sucked.
& since were all dying in 2012, you better rockk !

Please, Please ,Please otherwise.......f********** off...........

17) Everyday begins with History..........
On road becomes geography...........
In office becomes chemistry...........
In Evening becomes sociology...........
In Night becomes biology..............
and then ................it repeats again........

18)getting centi-mental about nothing...or kilo--mental about everything......

19) zindagee tu hee bata tujhe pyaar kab karu......

teri har ek shaam mujhe rula sa deti hai.................

har aahat par laga kiyeh kee tu hai aayee

teri har ummeed mujhe jhootla sa deti hai...

20) to live happy........"dont tell anyone when you are successful.....and dont leave anyone when you are not............"

21) getting lost in trying not to get lost in what i was trying to do ...however fate doesnt seems to get lost without a sense of irony in it........................

22)Sometimes Its Better to be Bitter...Atleast you dont get surrounded by Ants who eats you up to the very core of you and you keep on thinking that you have a huge fan following....................

Wow what an idea sirjee............

The Retreat...............

2009-05-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there are times of your time in which you have no time for your personal time. The only time which you have by yourself is the one which you have it on your wrist i.e. nothing but the time piece. I still remembered when one asked me why instead of having so exclusive collections why not wear them( actually I want to tell you I used to have a soft corner for watches so collected many and disposed all except one which I bought with my first salary). Anyways when I was asked or rather forced upon the fact that I have to come on time and for it I have to wear a watch, then I replied to that gentlemen that I don’t believe in irony of life. Then he asked me to elaborate more into it so I said in hindi that hum sub waqt ko apne haath mein lekar ghoomte hai magar kismet ka majaaq dekhiye kee waqt kisi ke haath mein nahin aata (we all roam in this world by taking time in hand-wearing wrist watch, but the irony of fate seems like that no one is able to get at its disposal). So that was my bushido to him or rather I never interfere into others life and when attacked by some tom dick and harry then I prefer hitting them very hard otherwise these kind of people start taking you for a ride and granted that yes I am your guardian into this world.
Anyways I think that I am diverting from the topic. So I was saying in this world full of time for everything else but to ourself I decided to become an outcast and turn around by 180 degree. Now I had decided not to have time for everything else but myself. So I was thinking about sort of revisiting my life, who was I and what kind of life I used to live when I was growing up and what kind of people I was surrounded with. May be I am doing it now so at later stage when I will be old and useless but nothing to look back in your life, may be at that time it will come handy to me. So and for many other reasons I decided to write about my revisits….may be random events but which had extremely important part of my life.
So form now onwards I will be retreating and reclaiming back the territories which I have left after I had won them. And I think we men are like that only we love to capture new and newer boundaries but we never know how to rule them. Similarly our life is also like that we keep on moving ahead with our quest for horizon that we never cared what we have left behind and we should be able to rule them not just keep winning. The one lesson which I had learned from history Akbar and Ashoka. For them winning is less important to ruling similarly in life knowing your roots is more important than just rising up and up and sky is the limit etc etc. So I am now more interested in knowing more and more about myself rather knowing about the world and others.
Oh yes by the way in this retreat first and foremost will be coming my romantic part of my kingdom, reason it is still very fresh in my mind and that’s my first choice.
So now the episode about the girls in my life apart from my family.

finally i didnt made it

2009-05-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

well now finally i had fallen into dilemma as to what should i write here. should i write what i am going through or should i write what exactly had happened in the past 2 years since when i had deserted you guys or shall i write what is my new passion or shall i just leave it like that.
i was always confused when it comes to my career choices or something else but writing here was the only determined thing i ever had, but now i guess that too is gone. now i have since i had fallen and nothing remains here so there is point in continuing what exactly i should be doing..
well you guys have to give me few days of time at least to figure it out what exactly had happened and why i was consumed with other useless things.....till then you can go anywhere you like.
in case if i dont see you then good morning good afternoon good evening and good night....nice dialogue haina...

another innovation from the house of tedhu.....

2009-04-14T13:03:00.000-07:00

How to drink wine when you dont have a wine opener......

Step 1: dispose off your wine opener and purchase a corked wine........

Step 2: curse yourself hundred times for behaving such an ass.

Step3: try to take out with everything you can......

step4: push the cork inside the bottle]

step5: refer to the pictures down below.....

life and love isnt about travelling but .........

2009-04-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

well finally i managed to get someone married to a nice person.....and now i can roam freely in this world.....but do i ...do i actually yearned for this freedom...that i wanted to be free....

do we realise that throughout our life we always look for the other side which is shinning more bright than our side....oh yes i forgot not to sound like a grandfather..

finally i decided to be reborn again and once in a blue moon i will start writing again to my blog....so here i am...by the way dont assume that i am gonna be regular now as we all can start things easily but how many of us do actually have perseverance and patience. atleast i dont have and i cant..(i am formally announcing it). i cant play test matches... for me life is like a one day and every other uncommited girl is like FANTA(F**k And Never Touch Again) or like Thumsup taste yuck when fizz is out....since i am a bachelor still so i have full rights to think like this....

by the way i think i should tell you each time what prompted me every time to write here as i am a very lazy fellow....
well its almost one year since i have written anything about myself....so there must be something worhtwhile happened to me atleast in a whole year.....well if not then i think i should jump from 10th floor.
well to be very honest...in this one year some leaves in my life have fallen to the ground i.e. some mirage which i think was my dreams have come to their destiny which is like shattered...and some mirage which i was always ignoring all the time had become my dream, or to be precise the reality to be realised when planned...
all these craps must be making no sense to you at all but for me they are like the roads on which i have progressed never to look back.....( sounds good na)
i think life has taken ,.......hey by the way who am i and why am i writing so much big about hwo life is and what you should do if you were me and what you should not to do to avoid mistakes which i have commited.....and why we all keep looking scared and petrified to start .....well life is very simple and enjoy and have fun....
well forget about all the marketing, advertising and conditioning which we are exposed to since we were born...be something...do something...blah blah....and throughout our life we just focus on how to reach at the top and what to do next....and miss the beauty of life....which is enjoying in every moment....
you know guys i used to think about doing something worthwhile to the society to the nation blah blah...well i am not condemning the idea of it...
but personally i m not into buying this...well now for me life is like touring not travelling....
well do we know the difference between touring and travelling.....well in travelling you just focus on the starting point and the end point....and we are so much focused on it that we remember just one thing...how to reach there.....
and touring is you dont have an end point. what you always have is a starting point and...on and on......

oh yes the person which i have mentioned in the starting she was my first love and finally after 19 years of loving her she finally married me....no no life isnt a fairy tale....well she married someone else whom she loved.....well guys do you know i still love her very much...and that does not make any difference to me....becuase for me loving someone is not necessarily concluding to marrying someone.....now i love the uncertainities of life....
anyways its good for me also...because had she married me then my life would be like starting from my childhood and ends with marrying her...and thats what my love had travelled..,.but now my love is open for touring.....starting from a point and ending.....i guess nowhere.....................

life is a bitch..................

2008-05-27T10:49:00.000-07:00

life is a bitch either u fuck it yourself or it will be fucked by others.........so decide....
    i dont know from where these lines had dawned upon me but it hink these lines are now the concentrate or results of my three years down the drain...or u can say my best years of my life.....
   well now i think the threshold is already crossed andnwo u can assume( can assume, iam not sure) that the continuity of this blog or the waters from the reservoir of my life will continuously fall to you......
so since aaj shree ganesha hai after so long long time. so do u expect something. well honestly i didnt think that i should continue from where i had left......because nowadays everything had changed aur ab to mere dhoodh ke daant bhi gir gaye hai...though wisdom teeth has yet to appear and i do strongly hope that someday it will be there when i can officially announce that i am wise.....till that time i can falsely claim to be wise which i am not.
     well to suggest me something kahan se shuru karu ya kahan se nahin shuru karu.....i dont know.....sochne do thora phir kal batata hu.....
  in the mean time let me very mean ......................bye bye

K SERA SERA

2008-01-11T21:14:00.001-08:00

What it could be if it could not be................

Ok folks I know that I am your criminal and should be brutally punished with the severest sentence ever possible for the very basic reason that I have crushed all your expectations and hopes from this blog from me.....and seriously guys I am not sorry for that. But I think I should tell you the reason not for excuse just for your knowledge.
Ok I think these days, months had changed my life full 360 degree. Now I think you guys can crown me a lunatic, crazy blah blah kind of person. I think i deserve that title now. U know I had taken my retirement from the corporate world that means I will no longer be working in a company etc and all. so now please dont ask me what I am doing right now but if you really want to know then all i could say is that I am enjoying my life and I had learnt the golden rule of life which is LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF and thats it.........

ANyways very soon now I am promising you that the show will keep going on and infact will become quite mor eintresting to the extent which you would never be able to imagine and if not then you can hang me from my bed..........or get lost ......

Har Subah sirf Utha Mat karo........

2007-10-05T06:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys, I know I have and I had disappointed you.....and by this time you must be familiar with it so i think there is no need for sorry......... But still for those who still doesnt know me well....sorry for not writing about myself and ignoring my baby..my blog....
Well but one thing is sure that now by seeing the blog and by the way I am writing you guys must be sure that some part of me is back.......you know the fiery one which used to be there with me.....but I somehow lost it...Living a mediocre life became my habit...and Habits are hard to broke.....
Anyways adore my lady luck and call me lucky if you want...but like a simple man I am trying to resurrect myself bit by bit, piece by piece...
Anyways i think lot of crap and crab...I dont want to ostracize more on that like old Alif Laila kind of serials which we all had suffered......
Haan to humhare kahanee mein Rishi ....Kabir...Sameer...Ritesh ka Janam ho chuka tha...well lets first understand why they had to be there......
There used to be only one STD nearest to the college(since college doesnt had in-campus facility at that time) and general store in CPC or CPT colony( i will never be able to figure it out which one was right). The guy had almost a monopoly over all the college student as the single shop for STD, General Stores and light snacks etc.. But most importantly the Guy -Rajesh nature was such that we had given his number 4019493 as our contact number ........which means roll number 5364 Akhil Sharma is more than enough to locate my coordinates....The roll number is unique in its sense as it means before me 5363 number of engineers had been rolled out....Haina Intresting.....

FEMIOLE ---the Paradox.....

2007-09-05T06:52:00.000-07:00

This is a word for which getting the essence no explanation is required as obvious from the word but for understanding it hell lot of explanation is required.
Ok so, let me try also to explain and express what which is impossible for me.
Femiole is a word which means law of nature which directs the Yang energies or to be very precise feminine energies to the Yin; masculine nature of Man.
In simple terms, the more you desire a woman, the more distant it seems and the moment you feel satiated/satisfied that now you desire no more woman and bang youwill encounter such irrestible offerings from female energies surrounding you that you feel perpetuated/tempted to indulge into it. And the moment you fall prey to these vicious temptations you will found them just a mirage or a dream.
Life for me is simply a very complex event which never ends, in which party never stops, it depends on whatever you chose to do in that party, decided to celebrate, party hard or just occupy a corner.
When I had decided that I am satisfied with one girl though she is in different time zone than you and physical proof of her you cannot have, but still I thought that now no more though yeh dil mange more always….
Kaamdeva, I don’t know why he keeps on playing pranks with me. Now within a week of declaration to myself of no vacancy, I have got 2 more leads and both are my city-calcutta based.
Now being a simple boy ab kya karu……..lets see…
Well now here is the birth of Kabir, Rishi, Sameer and Ritesh took place.

My Battalion

2007-09-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

Well to give some identification to the imaginations of yours, i am putting up my froude battalion over here.
with love ................

nothing else matters--metallica

2007-08-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

Death of Akhil and Birth of Tedhu

2007-08-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

From first year till last year, i had a one very sweet innocent notoriuos roommate or I should say Bihari roommate which itself explains all the adjectives....and by my luck I always remain in his close proximity,sometimes roommate sometimes next wingmate etc etc.....now since i have mentioned Be-Hurry(bihari) quite a lot so it becomes my responsibility to tell you folks about him a little which is unjustice to him as for him we 105 (minus 2 girls) can write full epic on him.....
Anyways he is from Aurangbad, Sasaram Bihar(sounds like dangerous isnt it) and the first impression you will have on meeting him is that he was born in 1971 but was registered in Date of Birth certificate in !981(just kidding). Actually he was quite mature for me and always like a good big brother though at times I behaved foolishly but he was good at heart... Though he was little bald infact little hairs left...to be very precise...but a nice fellow..He had no interest in dating and wasting time on girls, but who is doing what in our batch...Hats off to his intelligence network..We used to call him BBC(British Be-hurry Chaturvedi) though his real name was USC-Uma Shanker Chaturvedi...and due to the lengthy name and short name plate size, he was christened to US Chaturvedi...And he is the kind of friend who will always stand behind you in every fight provided that you are fighting......
By the way that was Be-Hurry.....who noticed a slight diversion in my cheek line a little left aligned....so he baptised me as tedhu instead of other names...By the way most of my seniors still knows that My chin was little distorted because of an accident with an OX in my childhood...which was crap...But who cares...Sorry seniors that was a funda and you started giving sympathy to me...
SO from here Tedhu become more popular then Akhil......And to be very honest I was the Kind of a BANANA and with blessings of Kaamdeva..I was destined to be very popular...
One very prominent reason for my popularity was my native place which is Jhansi...and that year in the passing out batch Sameer Chougle from Jhansi has won the PGM which was President Gold Medal, topmost honour for something i think studiuos fellows etc etc...
SO now every now and then when seniors comes for healthy interaction which means we get healthy due to rigorous exercises which we are supposed to do while interacting with them....they always ask for who is from Jhansi and then bingo Tedhu is always single ready to mingle....SO they asked me whether I want PGM or not...now despite of my cousin there 2 years senior to me....he didnt prepared me for such querries...so I answered mil jaayga to achaa hai...Yes why not.....then from there fire in the jungle started and it started spreading rapidly and now all seniors in all batch knows that this year Someone from Jhansi wants PGM.....
They started coming and inquiring about me and there was one poor fellow who is also from near Jhansi and now his face became a public figure who wants a PGM and I was saved almost by sheer luck or I dont know....And folks believe me that guy was rogered till one year for because of PGM....Desire.....Sorry SAGAR but your stars were little naughty at that time....
OH yes where were we.....So Mr/Shri Tedhu Maharaj now after one year almost of dedicated efforts,finally got a chatting lead from Calcutta..............

I am BACK to watch your BACK

2007-08-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

Haan to beautiful ladies and girls.....Mua Me Back....to watch your back. and by the way, hello bhai logo you too lets explore my history or miss-tory who knows...

Well that was just a quicky of our daily routine. But may be thats more than enough to give a vivid idea of what we were going through at that phase. So in the midst of that doldrums its only sweet memories about the new leads, new girl friends and its naughty possibilities that is sufficient to keep us going during the horrible or may be beautiful weekdays at that time. No matter how much we are tired or what we have gone through. I distinctly remembered one of our wingmate when returned from the senior hostel, he was fuming with anger and was putting all the family members of seniors in one line(abusing in polite english) but when we asked him,Are Maurya we had heard that you had got a new girlfriend in last city leave. He immediately forgot all what had happened and replied that she is just a friend, then he started telling what had happened and we know that all these are white lies but who cares if they are truth also. Like we all shared the pain of being punished together similarly we all share the blues and positive energy of talking about one's girlfriend with only just a little ray of hope in heart that may be someday we also will have something truthful to talk until then lets talk white lies and rubbish. Who cares its truth or not but its good for overlooking all the pains and pulling one's legs with the other. We really enjoyed that golden period of our life, and we all batcmate seriuosly wish if we would be allowed to live that past again...but it never happens as they “Life is like sand,who cares where is the end”.

One moment of life is going to fade so guys paint it as much as you can, otherwise you will also end up like me wishing for the past to come again and cursing the present and uncertain about the future.....

Anyways I also now have the medicine to escape the agony of seniors torture i.e. just think about the naughty possibilities of the weekend cyber lead. But in my case it was really different, like my life I was seriuosly facing a problem of choice. Whether to consider it as a serious lead or to move over another. But who cares something is better than nothing..At least I can share all my nonsense with her. So the weekdays ends and beautiful weekend comes and we like asteriods landed up at the cyber cafe waiting for someone special to come. At the same time we have never closed the option of other opportunities (if exists). Hence after four hours of swift time pasisng on the internet finally she landed up little late from the scheduled time. Then I started psuedo-fighting with her and asking for the compensation of my wait. And poor girl didn't understood that we were given leave for killing the time and she said sorry etc... I still dont know why I am wasting my tips,tricks and tools of cyber dating over an impossible thing..she is from pakistan guys.. May be its because of absence of any other opportunity I was focussing on that girl or may be something else, I dont know and I dont want to know.

There are times in life when you want to just let it go with the flow without caring over the result etc. and so not thinking about the impossibility of the situation, I was also focusing myself to her or I think may be because this Mr. Stupid started falling in the trap of Mr. Cupid.

Then we chatted, fought for 3 odd hours. and then sunday morning we started and ISMA also came at around 10 in the morning, because in the evening I had an appointment with important bollywood and hollywood personalities( had to go to movie) and to check out the babes in Esplanade and Park Street and wishing everytime may be this time we could get lucky and some girl will come to us and asking for our friendship.......

but this never happened, girls never found single and if single they dont have the guts to come to us and we dont have the courtesy to go and ask about her. After all, our backdoor become gateway of india when it comes to proposing to girls face to face. Well I was also passing through the similar stages ....though I had proposed a friend infact best friend in my school (Tabu -we used to call her by the name) and ofcourse I had experience but that was a different ball-game and over here how can you just go and propose a girl in the first meeting...No ways against all laws of logic and reasoning....right....what do you say.......

DAILY ROUTINE-------PART 1

2007-07-31T05:23:00.000-07:00

Ok sorry guys for being late but u know sometimes I work for my living and for that I have to pretend that I am working so got delayed in releasing my next episode ….daily routine.

Ok lets start from first year…which is the most interesting and when we all 106 of them got admitted in the cage of our college after leaving their home, it was really exciting which was coupled by the sad toppings of leaving their home.
Anyways so in the morning we have to get up at 5.30 router/hooter( I never get the spelling of how to pronounce),siren and we have to get up and get ready for the morning PT. Just by writing and the flashes of memory are coming to me as being an very horrible experience. In the morning when you have developed the habit of getting up at afternoon and then suddenly you have to get up at 5.30 its really horrible…..still horrible.
We people at IIT when preparing for it are supposed to be late nighters or night creatures but for getting up early in the morning is like torture.
However one thing I should mention that our bathrooms are very magical and romantic. The latches were not there in the toilet in our Sadan (faraday) and we have to literally sing or put our hands on the doors so that someone should not come in by kicking the door and if you are not careful then there goes bang the door either on head or …….And on top of that some friend of mine had put very beautiful voluptuous chastity picture on the door. So in the morning when you are shitting you happen to see her and then I have to ( I don’t know about others) end up doing my extracurriculars after that….sometimes I think that also negates my health development….
So that’s where the day starts and we have to fall-in in the quadrangle around 6.15 and move towards the ground like a neat pack of herd. And then where the exhaustive PT starts which we cannot escape because there is a roll –call at the end and in the starting. Though in the after years we had learned the art of giving proxies of which I was also one of the masters and which means a great banana again. Why because if u had mastered this art then you have to be there to give proxy of others and hence others enjoyed the benefit of not being so smart.
Then after taking rounds and rounds and exhaustive PT, then morning fallen and then class and then by evening 4 we were free like birds(may be ) and then evening fallen by 8.30 and then sleep.. It seems like very simple and easy routine but these are just the norms which we have to follow like religion and in between that the rule fo jungle always prevails. The possibility of being caught by the seniors anytime and everytime is always there. Whosoever didn’t get caught at slept at around 10 is considered to be lucky and we fellas envy him for his peace of sleep which he had got. While in the morning when we get up we don’t know when we would be able to sleep today or whether we will be able to or not was still a question………..

little Status update

2007-07-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

I must have thought this that how come Mr. Kaamdeva is so sympathetic with my current hopeless condition. U didn't know but if we fail to have a girlfriend then our condition of being a normal man comes under scruitny. Our smartness, hard skills to get some soft partners will be under doubt. There are people who had declared initially that they are not in the rat race but still will be interested in some quick work for which Calcutta is one of the hub and biggest in Asia (Near Girish Park). And we entered in the rat race and no matter if we wins also we are still a rat.......but here I was the last fellow in the race.People whom I thought are less privilaged by god in terms of looks and talks had also completed the first round and gone into second round.
And here I was worrying, screaming, raving,panting and whatever words are there for similar condition of mine. Every now and then we were burning midnight oil not for study but for knowing who else had cleared the first round.
The daily routine becomes like Morning 5.30 when u cant even get up from your bed, you had to get up and get ready for a PT which was like hell at that time ......well i think let me take a stroll on our daily routine which if i didnt wrote about it, will be like doing injustice to you also as it will also gave you an fair amount of feeling of how our life was in those days which seems like more torture during those days but now appears like a golden age when we lookback in our life...... so folks just wait a little for gold to come.........keep reading and posting a comment...and giving me a feedback on how should i proceed....did i started boring you.....

Kaamdeva's wicked Smiled

2007-07-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

Haan to Kaamdeva finally smiled or you can say that rain is expected in Sahara...doubtfull seems..similarly for me also..how come all of a sudden Mr/Shri Kaamdeva smiled at me..how come....Now I am sure that in my earlier life I must have checked upon the girlfriend of Mr Kaamdeva otherwise why he always does banana for me, I couldn't understand. Thats why I stopped eating banana, since I am already having it through other routes.......And frankly yaar its not the matter of chatting only, no matter in what field let it be, there's always a beautiful yellow banana ready for me. I think I should have changed my communication address to Banana island on a Banana tree eating a banana and shouting with mouth. By the way people have started calling my room to Banana Island and we had genuine members, who were also like me was tormented by Mr. Kaamdeva.
Iam sorry for boring and beating you a lot but yaar its my life and banana is an eminent part of my life infact a few other life also,so please let me introduce the Banana commitee which we have formed in our batch. The members are Mamu, Nintu,Uma and others. There are many temporary members who will just come and go for a short while. But we four are the eminent and key person of the Banana Commitee and our headquarters are my room (ground floor,room no. 7). I guess we were not nuts, we were bananas.
Anyways coming back to the story..so I asked about here ASL(age,sex,location). I still dont know why I had asked this because no girl tells about her real age in chatting, and sex, I already know that she is a girl her name was ISMA( name changed). Anyways location and age factor was important as it will decide whether she has to assume an active lead to be followed aggressively or she should go in the cold bag.
Pakistan.....she was from Pakistan. It dropped like a nuclear bomb on my first ray of hope. It seems like instead of getting sunlight I was targeted with a laser beam. I dont know what to say and how to react.
I just want to know how should i react... its a thing of the past i know but i still want to know about your opinion, if you were in my place then what would be your reaction...... do let me know........

Next Episode

2007-07-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

chalo lets get back to the track.By the way after reading the above lines , I felt like encouraged. Iam not that bad after all. At least i can read what i had written for the second time so you people can always manages for one time.
Oh yes the story, so it goes like finally i was introduced by my batchmates ( Shukla who was a fantabulous singer once) to the internet world. Wow it seems like but more engulfing and intoxicating than anything else. Yahoo and Mirc was the fad at that time and it was rumoured that most of the girls on internet are probably found on internet with the success stories, but who knows the authencity of it and infact who wants to know the authencity of it. We were like a traveller in a desert walking for along the lines of single ray of hope whatever trickels at that time.
So I was born in the virtual world with Yahoo my Father and Mirc My mother. Then I learned the art of chatting by my roommate (Mamu aur unke saathi). Every city-leave (weekends) we used to sit or rather shit on internet for about at least six to eight hours. See I told you in our batch of DMET 2000-2004, every one was laboriuos as the other one. After all we people had just slipped from IIT Entrance Exam( nice rationalisation). So brains are assured, functionality whether half or fully functional is still a debatable topic.
Passion,dedication,focus for getting a girl friend was our only aim. I guess this is an universal aim for almost all the boys living in India especially and similar country where to get a Girlfriend who in future will not be marrying you was a herculean task at our times. Things have changed a lot these days and our younger brothers turn out to be scoring more on the grounds on which hardly managed to open a single account. Should we feel jealous, no I dont think so.
Anyways so while I was fishing on the internet in hope of getting a good girl or a girl at least which I also know was like an oasis in sahara and you should admire our dedication that in most cases if we get successful in getting friendly with a girl on chat she turns out to be a boy using a girl chat handle. But we manage to keep our dedication unsevered by the odds.
So finally Kaamdeva, the god of love smiled on me and I got a lead with which I chatted for three hours. And this also reduce the doubt that she could be a boy just playing with our innocent sweet little hearts filled with hope and aspiration.

Little ME

2007-07-24T02:58:00.000-07:00

Hello, how’s you doing. I think life is going tough day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute and moment by moment. I know its really getting tough but sometimes I really wonders that whether this kind of perplexity of just living in this planet exists in earlier days. Well I think most of us would have said that the kind of life we are living is much worse than it is used to be in earlier days. May be, earlier I also holds the same view but now I think I m on the other side. Life will never be simple and easy, no matter what the conditions of society, technology and science are or would be. The degree of toughness is more or less the same in every ages, every decade, every century. However the form may be different. Anyways, not boring you with my personal view and endless debate which could be triggered easily on the above question, I should come directly to the point rather than beating around the bush.
This is not a story but an incident or to be precise and exact its an accident which really changed my life, which is always the duty of an accident i.e. to change lives. So do mine also has changed. And as per the rules the accident details should not be tampered with hence except alosys real identity and few other minor details, every information, incident conveyed is true or we can say it’s a part of history kept hidden safely within few hearts who happens to be someone’s grandfather or someone’s father or some renowned people of our very own society.

This is not for those who believes its impossible. For it would be impossible for me to supply reasons for what you would be reading and for what I m doing with my life, in my life, of my life. You may find it really nonsense and the most idiotic thing you have read. And I m grateful to them for they have at least reacted and showed some concern for their involvement and waste of their time. I m not saying that they are wrong because I believe that for looking at a river there are many ways depending on the side on which you are standing. And I stand on the non believer’s side and really respecting for the people who are standing on either side. It their perception about their life and how it should be lived and so do I demand respect or silence for my way also.

If you people still goes on reading further then let me confront you with a vital and true fact or you can say a small test:
· Seven years of my belief, my love.
· Chatted on net for only hundred times.
· Seen her only three times and that too for the first time after five years.
· Didn’t heard her voice and never seen on webcam.
If you still insist that these are not nonsense then you may further go on, on your own risk.
I think and in fact I believe that for those who believe even in the slightest form of love then they really don’t believe in love. Love and impossible are both enemy of each other. For love cannot remain in hearts filled with suspicion, impossible. And impossible cannot find place in hearts of those who believe in love.
This book is only about truth and the entire incidence inscribed here are inscribed in my past as a part of it. I have changed my name but I have not changed her name for reason because I want you to relate her as the author and the reason for the book. I m just used by her or her medium to communicate to you all. You can say in short that she is using me and I m very much happy about it. I m changing the name of the paces involved in it for the same reason that she is using me, and I love to be used by her.
I m always a champion at making English worse from my school time though it was an English medium and my condition is worse than ever for it is my carelessness and nothing else to improve upon it. So I apologize for being terrible with the grammar and please don’t mind them.
I think I have bored you a lot so not wasting your important time lets get started.

Now since I m involved in it can I ask pardon for introducing myself. I will not take much of yours time.
I used to be a horny virgin child (till today). I really don’t know what it means literally and exactly but so far my little knowledge is concerned it describes me well. I even don’t remember since when I was like this but I have found myself life this only. The only thing that changes is the first figure that is my age, keeps adding every year and now it’s twenty four. Its funny but I should confess that when I was in fourth grade I was caught of keeping Pooja Bedi semi-nude picture in my dictionary. Well apart from that horny and virgin junk, I always talk crap with the girls. I mean I cannot live without talking to girls and believe me girls cannot live much after talking to me. I think that’s why when I was admitted to my engineering college my father inquired only about the number of girls applied. And when he came back he was smiling wickedly (for merchant navy only a handful of girls applies till today).
Anyways that’s me and that’s more than enough for you to know about me.
Now not beating around the bush and starting the story. In fact I should not call this a story a true incident or rather true accident.
My first year in my college was in his dying stage and I was preparing to go to the second year and still I don’t have that decent man status of having a girlfriend. I don’t know when it comes to girls why in my college years I was like a black cat. This city was a stranger 1000 miles away from my home and only two girls in class against 106 boys. Besides this these we call them as non-existing girls not beautiful enough to help us in getting that macho status. Hence like all I have restricted myself to the outsiders.
Every week someone or the other is getting his due status of decent and normal man and look at me I still don’t have a chatting lead. Like in business we have leads so do we have chatting leads. The girls who chat with you regularly and then after weeks of chatting for hours on internet they comes to the next level that is the great phone level. Thanks to the technology now almost everyone can afford mobile.
Then after wasting our parent’s hard earned money over the phone as most of the times it’s only we boys who used to call them. Then they proceed to the third more expensive stage of meeting in reality. Yes I mean meeting in reality, you can touch her hands and cherish the reality that she, your girlfriend really exist and now you are a decent and normal and smart man.
Then I don’t need to discuss the further rounds as if the girl wins then he ends up his life by marrying her or if the boys win then they end up split. Majority cases the boys are not committed just want to have good time. However some of them are not lucky enough and hence can’t split or you can say end up married. Every year we hear a good number of our seniors marrying their girlfriend.
In short you can say that there exists a battle in which almost everyone of our batch has to enter just like our seniors and then survives in the end to prove his macho status. However there are still few who keeps themselves out of this nonsense battle (one was my dear roommate) but was doubted to be of the other type of men until they prove it to be normal. During our so-called ragging period I was asked about the 5W’s essential in mariner’s life and I was surprised to know that they are Wine, women, world, water and wealth.

perhaps an autobiography

2007-07-24T01:54:00.000-07:00

Almost 25 years back, there in the holy land of India in a small town, Jhansi amidst the black and rainy night, a child was born like a shinning star in the life of SHARMA JEE. AKHIL was the name given to him.
The child was very ordinary but with little intelligence he was among one of the regular toppers of the school. His aim was to be the first among everyone in his school so that he can impress the beauties/opportunities existing in the coeducation school. He had scored 74 % in his HSC(I..C.S.E. BOARD) and with mathematics he managed to get 67% in his SSC(ISC BOARD) from ST. MARK’s COLLEGE, JHANSI. He was regularly nominated as the house captain and class prefect for various position in his school. He was a very good swimmer infact to be more precise a good diver from 10 meter and can always be found chatting with people. It seems like everyone knows him and though he happens to be one of the most naughtiest kid in the school.
After getting selected for MARINE ENGINEERING AND RESEARCH INSTITUTE,CALCUTTA( affiliated to JADAVPUR UNIVERSITY,CALCUTTA)in the extended list of IIT-JEE, he went to study BACHELOR OF ENGINEERING (MARINE). There he participated in the 8.8 km Annual Cross Country Marathon,2000 and when he came 16th in that race, his perception about himself had totally changed. Then he realized that he can do things which he had never thought of. Then he got nominated for MEDICAL CADET and continued to serve the post for 3 years. He had also taken active participation in inter year cultural festival and won many accolades for it. This extracurricular activity took their price against his studies. Though he managed to get an overall 59.2% in his graduation. It seems like finally good days had arrived and he got selected for BARBER SHIP MANAGEMENT LTD as a TRAINEE ENGINEER OFFICER and worked for 4 months on a ship M.V.NOBLEZZA visiting various European ports. But the prophecy of uncertainity is still upon him and he can’t do justice to his job as he believes that this is not the kind of work he always wanted to do or assigned to do by who else THE GOD. Now driven by his creative(not sure)urge he had left the job and started what he is doing right now still exploring the journey to find at least himself.
Now this time he wants to challenge his destiny and wants to go an analysis of himself. If u think that u know him then let him know and break his superfluous assumptions or otherwise just get lost…….in your own maze created by yourself……..